When Somebody Used to Ask me About my Plan for my Life …

When somebody used to ask me about my Plan for my Life, it used to bother me a lot. But now I have a Plan.

I have a plan. Trust me. 
It’s just that it’s a little different. You might go with a load more instead of a little. But a plan that’s part of everyone’s plan without even their knowing it.  Actually, it’s true that we all need to have a plan. But, to date I surprisingly denied it. In fact, it was just yesterday that I had been in an argument with someone about this. 
Since my salad days, I preferred to choose the most difficult or famous, or extraordinary profession and claim it to be my passion or my plan. I went preparing for the Medical stream during my plus one and plus two grades. Honestly, I was never enthusiastic about Biology and never had a feeling that this was the one for me throughout my preparation but I kept going because of the rule prevalent in our Society that a plan is a good plan if you stick to it throughout. Not absolutely the wrong saying but there is something in its hypothesis that goes unnoticed here. And, that is that at first one needs to find a plan to be able to stick to it. Although, surprisingly nobody in effect taught us how exactly that should be done.

As it happens,

some of our elders or teachers or neighbors just skipped the necessary hard work and merely told us to choose from the easily visible Medical Sciences, Technological Sciences, or Arts and Humanities. As per their not-so-apt analysis, the rest was of little worth. Or if put out another way, the remaining areas where one could explore his or her interests were only worth being taken as a hobby. 

So as per what I learned, I chose something for me that seemed to be appreciated by the crowd without thinking of how much it intrigued me, if at all it did. 
But finally, after two years of rigorous preparations, I backed out. I didn’t sit for the exam despite filling the fee for the exam, despite downloading the permit card for the examination Centre, and spite wasting quite a large sum on the books and my coaching (that I didn’t attend for almost one and a half years though it was a two-year long process). I don’t know what exactly pulled me back then. Whether it was my fear, my calling, my sudden love for maths, or maybe something else. I am not sure about it. I kept searching for the answer till this day, roughly five years after the moment when I actually took the decision to pull back. Though am still not sure about the answer but I have realized that it doesn’t matter anymore. 
Whatever it was, it was one of the best decisions that I have ever taken. Because firstly it was the first time I took a stand for something that didn’t depend upon what others thought about it, secondly I was firm, thirdly I just felt it was the right thing, fourthly I didn’t forcefully push myself in something that was far away from my interests, fifthly I discovered I could be anything but a doctor as blood and sick people scare me out of my wits, I can soothe them and sit by them but not play the doctor, lastly life has always made funny, sudden, crisp and the best decisions for me and so I am getting used to accepting it now. Accepting life as and when it comes.
I am open to going wherever it takes me. That’s the plan! One that I have discovered works as does a jewel in a crown for me.
You have to have faith in life’s plan. Initially, you may not see the good behind it. But the answers you come across may leave you surprised if you are patient and observant enough to wait for them. And I may bet that life’s plan for you will be undoubtedly many times better and bigger than the one you would have thought. At times, life may benumb you by taking you on trails you think might never cross your paths, bringing you together with people who seemed too sour, complicated, or frigid in the beginning et cetera helping you budge way beyond your boundaries.  
By the way, I fell in love with the aesthetics during all this. It’s been a while now. I fell in this love long ago, probably since I came into this world. It just took me a little longer to realize that. And now I know that Mathematics is spiritual and poetic and so is music. But that’s not enough for me to choose it forever. But yes. This is enough for me to at the least give it a just try. And then decide if this journey is the one to be continued or rather the one that takes me to the path waiting for me to be walked by. 

When somebody used to ask me about my Plan for my Life, it used to bother me a lot. But now I have a Plan. And this question doesn’t worry me now.

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